Rakan was silently driving the car and 3bdallah gazed out the window of the passengers seat.. while i sat in the back counting the endless aches i had on my arms and body. This was one of the toughest most dramatic nights of my life.
Was it because i called her the other day? but she hated me. i backed off.
Was she the person responsible for the threatening text message i received? yeah.. it must be her, it is her.
The car ride back home was very silent, full-filled with unreachable answers and unspoken questions and clarifications.
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"Gomay wi9alna"-he shock me, i opened my eyes too notice that i drifted to sleep without noticing. I gave him a questioning look hoping that he might blurt something out, but he gave me a cold look away and got inside. I hooped out of the car and glimpsed abdullah walking away to the shore. The sun was highly shined out in the sky, resembling that it was just 1 or 2 in the afternoon.
I felt so tired, and so drained. I really needed some sleep and wondered if the girls were still sleeping or out for a swim. I also wondered if they knew about what happened last night or not.
Whats happening to me right now feels so fictional, im tired, im lost, i have no clue on who to talk too, who to explain too, and if someone wants to hear anything anymore. I dont know whether im wrong or right, guilty or innocent.
I stood there, sobbed in my dirty clothes, and teary eyes, gazing at 3bdallah walking away, until he was out of sight. And that's when i realized that its yet, not the time to discover the true story of theirs. I gathered myself up and headed up to our room.
with no room for second thoughts in my mind anymore, i showered, changed into my pj's and slept the craziest night of my life away..
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i woke up to the sound of her sobs as much as i woke up from the pain of the bruises that surrounded me. "Sara, are you okay?", as if she didnt want anyone to find out, she pretended as if she didn't hear what i just said, and started to clear her teary face standing out the balcony.
It was too cold, winters about to start and the breezes were very shivery at night, grabbing a small blanket on the corner of my bed i got up and headed to cover her exposed skin.
Sara was in the room all alone, having a hard time, supposingly aomething might be going on. And with all the sadness in the world contained in her eyes, she spoke "Trust me, im fine."i know you are, Sara's never sad about anything lana ely a7ba feeha tadri ena ma7ad kafu tiz3al 3leh"- i said hugging her "9a7, sa3at.. lma tkoneen z3lana 3la sha59 bs sa3at elwa7d yz3al mn ashya2 t9eer by7ata w ehwa mo fahmha, just like me now, fa ath6ar eni az3al" "7ta w entay tadreen ena kilshay y9eer 8'6a2 rabi w 8adra? w ena labod feeh 5air lich aw 3laich? " "Ay 5air ghala, w ana kil mag3adt bro7i athkar someones bloody past, w lil2saf elsha59 ykon 7ail '3ali 3lay bs ath6ar akraha aw tlo3 chabdi" "Yousef?"-i said, knowing exactly who she meant but wanting to hear it from her. "lil2saf, its been along time but nobody full-filled my interests like he did"-she spoke, her words were rather interesting. So refreshing to listen to such beloved words. True words being spoken, from a person who's in its first stages of love. I loved the sound of such phrases i fail to the know the feelings too..
"He opened up to me ghala and told me everything about him, 9ij ena its not that disturbing, its how any teenage guy of his age would act but it disturbed me to know that he was once a player, a7sa, a7sa besawi feeni mthl maswa bkil ely fataw 3leh. Ely bda5li ana, i know it's true but him? im not so sure.." "Getting second thoughts about this whole subject, ma alomch.. but you do need to realize that nobody opens up to you in a completely honest way, w 3an zaina w shaina, ela ely yath8 feech w 3azch w 3adich shay eb 7yata.. w never judge a person who opens up to you bhal 6ree8a. Never judge a person's past because some really do change"-Ghala spoke wisely. Loads did she conclude from reading and thinking, wise was her mind when she helped people. But too childish were her actions when she was in similar situations.
Ghala's words made Sara realize that she needs to give na9er a chance, and he may be either a lesson to learn from, or a lifetime gift. But when your heart tells you to do something, go right ahead and do it. No matter what the consequences are, never regret it. Because the risks you take are never worthless.
"enshallah"-she smiled to ghala, "Ela elbaji wainhom?"-i said questionably, "They told me bero7on 3nd wa7da bs nsait shsmha, w 6l3aw mn el9b7 lail7een ma radaw" "khair enshallah, yallah anaa nazla akli shay yo3ana"-ghala said her last words to sara as she left the room, but before she did sara awkwardly grabbed her into a tight hug, thanking her for always being there for her. "aa5"-ghala ached as sara accidentally hit a bruise, "Shfeech??"-sara wondered, ghala cursed herself, trying to hide her bruises with her long sleeves, "Wla shay, it must be a bruise w ana nayma" "5ara3teeni, 6oul 3umrich dafsha blnoma 5o"
ghala giggled.. and headed to get her something to eat.. she was starving.
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As her bare footed toes made her way down the stairs, it was completely dark, seemed like only she and sara were in the chalet alone. W allah y3lam wain lamar w ghezlan lay el7een
"He opened up to me ghala and told me everything about him, 9ij ena its not that disturbing, its how any teenage guy of his age would act but it disturbed me to know that he was once a player, a7sa, a7sa besawi feeni mthl maswa bkil ely fataw 3leh. Ely bda5li ana, i know it's true but him? im not so sure.." "Getting second thoughts about this whole subject, ma alomch.. but you do need to realize that nobody opens up to you in a completely honest way, w 3an zaina w shaina, ela ely yath8 feech w 3azch w 3adich shay eb 7yata.. w never judge a person who opens up to you bhal 6ree8a. Never judge a person's past because some really do change"-Ghala spoke wisely. Loads did she conclude from reading and thinking, wise was her mind when she helped people. But too childish were her actions when she was in similar situations.
Ghala's words made Sara realize that she needs to give na9er a chance, and he may be either a lesson to learn from, or a lifetime gift. But when your heart tells you to do something, go right ahead and do it. No matter what the consequences are, never regret it. Because the risks you take are never worthless.
"enshallah"-she smiled to ghala, "Ela elbaji wainhom?"-i said questionably, "They told me bero7on 3nd wa7da bs nsait shsmha, w 6l3aw mn el9b7 lail7een ma radaw" "khair enshallah, yallah anaa nazla akli shay yo3ana"-ghala said her last words to sara as she left the room, but before she did sara awkwardly grabbed her into a tight hug, thanking her for always being there for her. "aa5"-ghala ached as sara accidentally hit a bruise, "Shfeech??"-sara wondered, ghala cursed herself, trying to hide her bruises with her long sleeves, "Wla shay, it must be a bruise w ana nayma" "5ara3teeni, 6oul 3umrich dafsha blnoma 5o"
ghala giggled.. and headed to get her something to eat.. she was starving.
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As her bare footed toes made her way down the stairs, it was completely dark, seemed like only she and sara were in the chalet alone. W allah y3lam wain lamar w ghezlan lay el7een
"I just hope they're fine"-she thought. And yeah you can see that she's starting to think like a freak, ta38idat.
As she opened the fridge she saw a tank of ben&jeryy's, HEAVEN'S CALLING.. Her eyes widened, "even if i ate nothing at all, hatha be3aw'6ni 6ab3an"- she said, like a child
She sat there for over 30 minutes, satisfyying her belly with some icecream, hearing voices outside.. she decided to go check them out.
& turns out to be the boys just goofing around.
there she saw na9er, a7mad and yousef fighting and laughing their stomaches off, but once they saw her they stopped to say hello.. Behind them was rakan in his car punching on his mobile.. He seemed biter, and very depressed.
"Is this a good time to go talk to him?"-she thinks, just about to make a step and head twoards his car.
But "Ghala"-3bdallah calls from behind her. "Ambay 5ara3tni"-she expresses her shock "Amer?" "Mayamer 3laich 3ado.. Umm, matbeni awdech elmostaw9f shay? Shloun 97itch?"-he nervously spoke, not knowing about where to start and how to hide her pain away she lowered her head "mafeeni ela el3afya", "akeed? Enzain matben enro7 nit6aman? Bs fo7o9at saree3a?"-he presuaded, "lat7ati, ma9ar ela el3afya w el7imdlah mafeeni shay"-her words started to turn into frustrations.. "Dont ask about my health if you dont want to bother explaining why all this tragedy happened to me! Dont act like you care cuz to me you seem that you dont"-she felt like exploding..
Pretending like she didnt have millions of things going on inside of her b7ijat "ent'6ar elwagt elmonasib" kanat t3a9bha..
He flashed her a smile and turned to walk away, only interuppting him with her shaky voice "isnt it time yet? tell me, im confused.."- she couldent wait any longer. "Tell you what ghala?"-He said exhaustedly, "you know exactly what i want to know, 3arf laish '6ay3a w ely mtayhni", "amray bs bli taben t3arfena?" "Abi a3rf reem, mno ehya sh3rfha feeni, shkraha feeni w sh89at ely 9ar lailat ams?"
And thats when the conversations began, and it all hit me..
The convo was too large, we sat by the shore, and 3bdallah began explaining everything. Clarifyying that he never wanted to leave me clueless, wondering, or getting hurt, And not a detail passed by, that i managed not to clearly analyze.
"Ert7tay el7een?" "Bs laish ana? Why couldent he use lamar to get him to get rid of reem, wla ay wa7da thanya, why is it always ghala yakhi yadri ma abla3a ysawi feeni hal 7arka ba3ad?"-I said, deeply touched by the subject.
3bdallah laughed "elmohm el7een tadren ena mara thanya lma agoulch shay 6ee3eeni w malich sh'3l brkano, w ena reem swat chithi mojarad enha darat entay 7bebat rakan, fa latgrbeen 9oba 3shan titjnbain mshakilha ely malha nehaya." "9aj 9aj.. Bs ashwa 5tarni ana wla chan mat7malt ashouf wa7da mn 5awati tit2tha!", he giggled on my facial expressions, "ya 7wich ya ghala." I smiled, "thankyou 3bdallah."
Minutes of akward silence went between us.. He just stared at me awkwardly, and i pretended to stare at the sand..
"Tara lamar w ghezlan 3nd shaikha e5ti 3la fkra, ejtm3aw 3igob g6a3a 6weela wa25eeran"-he broke tge silence, "shaikha e5tk lkbera ma '3airha?"-i said surprised. Ambay.. Mn zman 3anha! Kbt a7bha! Wlw enha kanat akbar mina kanat wayed 7booba, "eeh shaikha ely rabatni w kabratni bhal dinya mn ba3ad wafat omy allah yr7amha"..
He seemed so sad, kisar 5a6ri.. Trying to change the subject ghala smacked 3bdallah really hard and got up to run, "HAW FAJ2AA?"- he laughed, "CATCH ME IF YOU CAN"- i shouted from afar, and i never stopped running knoeing ena marda be9eedni bthwani!
I started running and running looking at him getting closer and closer, "laish tltaftain ashoufch 5ayfaa??"- he smirked "Ma3ozik bs ashoufk wain wi9alt!"
"watch where you two are going, shhal mayhala??"- I bumped into a tall figure, "AYY"-i ached, there was the huge scar, or huge bruise on my arm that pained so much, i lifted my sleeve to look at it. It was giant.. "Ghala mo china gltay mafeech shay??"-3bdallah came close to take a look at it "Ana ray7 anam, atmna mara thanya tshofeen wain ray7a"-he said walking in, whats wrong with him? shswaitla ba3ad?
"Ghala t3alay enro.." "Its fine 3bdalah, wallah, its fine. I need to go rest 3an ethnk"-She shut him down, and entered the chalet.
"Ghala t3alay enro.." "Its fine 3bdalah, wallah, its fine. I need to go rest 3an ethnk"-She shut him down, and entered the chalet.
MOOREEEEE
ReplyDeleteYour blog 3ajeeb, I'm waiting for more posts 3ala nar. I love the way you write and how you express your feelings . Jad it's the best blog that I ever read
ReplyDelete~ZFK❤️
Pooosssttt yalaaa i am waiting :( i love ur story ♥♥♥
ReplyDelete